So, I’m a day to two late on the New Year’s post—but it’s because I’m already working on my goals!!
While I don’t quite do the whole “resolutions” deal, I do like to think intentionally about what can be different in the upcoming year. This year, I really, really want to have TIME. Now, I know, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. But I feel like ever since marrying the Fellow, and ESPECIALLY even since having the kids, every minute feels full. I always feel behind.
A couple of days ago I was doing an exercise to reflect on 2017, and one of the questions was about books read in the past year. And I couldn’t remember the last book I read. That is really, REALLY sad to me. I’ve been known as the bookworm many times in my life, so not being able to talk about what books I’m reading is rather upsetting.
This led me down a trail of thoughts, mainly resting on the question, “Am I making good use of my time?” No. And I’m sure I never 100% will be. But I do want to do better in 2018.
Here’s where I’m starting: I want to intentionally find a place for EVERYTHING in the house, so that my “cleaning” hours are spent doing the necessary and normal things—wiping down tables, sweeping floors, scrubbing toilets. I don’t want those tasks to be an after thought. I want someone to drop by the house unexpectedly and me feel confident that the bathroom will not kill them.
The big thing I need to do in order to create time to find a place for everything is to get.the.flip.off.Facebook. I mean. Come on Amy. Get a life. If I found a place for one piece of paper or one random cord every time I would normally check Facebook, my house would be a pristine museum in seriously like one day. Good grief.
So. Less Facebook in order to create more time to find a place for everything. Once everything has a place, cleaning will be easier to keep up with and more of a routine. And one cleaning is semi-kept up with, I will have a few moments to read. And to have people over and to actually have friends. AND I’M SO EXCITED.
2017 has felt lost to me in many ways. It’s felt like a year of death. Not in a deep tornado of despair kind of way, but rather a grey sadness of loss.
People died. People whom I met, who made an impact on me, and who I never really got to engage with or learn from. A dear friend/mentor’s sister. A college roommate’s mother. A lovely woman at church who gave us her van. I didn’t get to ask them about their stories. And it’s left me reeling a bit. They were all gentle souls, and I am not. Their deaths have brought me to my knees begging for goodness to be more like them, more patient and sweet.
This year I’ve felt my lack of friendships. I don’t have my “tribe” that is spoken of in so many Christmas women’s circles these days. I don’t have a best friend. I haven’t made time for people.
One of the reasons I really wanted us to move to a more spacious house (and in Greensboro!) was so we could have people over. Of course the reality is, we could have people over no matter where we live, but that’s another topic for another day. We’ve been in this house 2 and a half months, and haven’t had anyone over except for some family at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Where is the joy of hostessing that I was dreaming about? I’ve been using the excuse “We just moved!” until the family whose house we bought invited us over for dinner (Um, yeah, they just moved too!), and then our new associate pastor’s wife hosted a girls night and they seriously moved here one month ago. So really. What’s my excuse.
I want to have time. Time to read my books. Time to sit with the neighbors and chat when we both happen to be out at the same time. Time to invite people over for dinner and not feel the need to have 10 days ahead of time to start cleaning.
Using Facebook less isn’t the be-all-end-all answer, but it’s a start. That, plus the grace of God mixed in with some motivation and intentionality may be what this girl needs to start 2018 off right.
(And irony of ironies, I know I’ll share this on Facebook. WHAT IS MY LIFE.)